Letters to Some People
Dear David Bowie,
You don’t know me but I’ve been a fan of yours my entire life. I’ve got many of your albums and generally make the effort to say nice things about you.
But I would like to comment of leave some constructive critisizm about your website (www.davidbowie.com). It’s been too damn pink for too damn long. Change it up a bit. You know blue never hurt anybody.
Yours truly,
Whatigotsofar
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Dear Julio Franco,
Being a player on the Atlanta Braves, you’ve already earned a special place in my heart. But I would like to know how it feels to be facing pitchers who were not yet born when you cracked your first major league roster and then getting hits off them. Doing that on a semi-regular basis must be a very special feeling.
Keep up the good work,
Whatigotsofar
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Dear Britney Spears,
Do you remember when you got married in Vegas? Do realize that’s the most normal thing you’ve done, EVER?
Just offering up some food for thought,
Whatigotsofar
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Dear Sir/Madam @ Lone Star Texas Grill
Bring back the southern fried chicken, pretty please.
Hungry and waiting,
Whatigotsofar
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Dear J.K. Rowlings,
Do you realize that you can never end the Harry Potter series? For cryin’ out loud, Sir Arhtur Conan Doyle had to ressurect Sherlock Holmes, and that was in the 19th century. You will be writing Harry Potter until you’re old and grey. And even if you do try to stop, fan fiction will arise at such a rate you will be forced to either: a) take legal action against your fans; or b) write more just to compete with the unauthorized fan fiction.
Have you ever thought of teaming up with that Bridget Jones chick to do some sort of crossover?
Sincerley,
Whatigotsofar
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Recommended Listening: The Letter by The Box Tops.
Tags: Food, Humour, Literature, Sports
July 25, 2007 at 8:50 am
I have a strong suspicion that Franco is 109 years and made a secret pact with the devil to continue this long. Amazing.
July 25, 2007 at 9:42 am
God I love Davide Bowie….and now I love him even more for using pink!!!
These letters remind me of that book “Letters From a Nut.” The author Ted L Nancy (which many think is really Jerry Seinfeld) writes ridiculous letters to various companies with bizzaro requests and then publishes their responses. Hilarious!!!
July 25, 2007 at 9:49 am
You should send these!
After you said “chicken fried steak” I couldn’t concentrate on the rest…
July 25, 2007 at 10:05 am
BDS - he’s also made the playoffs every year since returning to the majors. I think the devil might be getting the short end of the stick in this deal.
Miss Ash - pink is for girls.
JLee - never said chicken fried steak, but that does sound good. mmmm…
July 25, 2007 at 11:19 am
If I were JK Rowling and I said I was done, I would be done. I am rich and I want to retire in style!
July 25, 2007 at 11:40 am
Up next on HBO — Harry Potter and The Scooby Doo Gang vs. The Ghoulie Meanies!
July 25, 2007 at 1:06 pm
Ugh no it’s not. Give a baby a toy pink, blue, red, blah blah and they will most likely play with it. It’s not until the meddling adults bust in with “that’s a girl colour” “that’s a boy colour” that any significance is put on the colour.
July 25, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Bob - money don’t last forever, especially when people are watering down your product and making it less valuable knocking down the royalty cheques
Dan - “And I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for you meddling muggles!”
Miss Ash - well then I’m just a meddling adult who wants boys to play with blue GI Joes and girls to play with pink Barbie dolls.
July 25, 2007 at 1:38 pm
Brilliant idea, my friend. Oh, and Great blog too, I will have to do some pottering about later!
July 25, 2007 at 8:08 pm
oh, southern fried chicken….oops. I guess I heard what I wanted to!