Breasts, Boobs and Bazongas

Note: I would have included pictures. Its not like its hard to find pictures on the internet, but as I was compiling the photos, I got sidetracked. So I decided not to include photos. Sorry guys.

Second Note: I have since gone back and added crude stickwoman drawings to help illustrate my point after Miss Ash asked me to provide her with some images to better demonstrate my point.

There are all kinds of breasts in this world, and not just differences based on size. The shape and direction of the breast is just as if not more important than the size.

Unfortunetly, breasts aren’t all good though. Some are actually unattractive. Guys, keep reading, I’m not blowing smoke up yer ass. Boobs aren’t always great. Here is how some boobs can repel instead of attract.

Buffalo Boobs

You can thank Jerry Springer for thrusting these onto the television screen. These boobs are not naturally occuring (I hope they’re not) and require a heck of a lot of skin. These are those humongous boobs you see on daytime talk shows like Springer. Each boob is often much larger than the woman’s head. Its like she’s got two pumpkins lodged in her shirt.

Walleyed Boobs

These are those boobs that both point away from the body. Imagine, if you will, each nipple was one of those laser pointers. The laser lines created would not be parrallel. The two dots would appear very far apart from each other even if the surface the dots appear on is only a couple of feet in front of the woman.

Crosseyed Boobs

This is really rare. It is like one boob is walleyed but the other is straight.

In both walleyed and crosseyed boobs, I’m never quite sure what to do. Its like they’re looking another direction. Much like talking to somebody who’s crosseyed. You know one is looking at you, but the other is pointing in some other direction. Its just so confusing.

Uneven Boobs

I’ve seen this too many times for my liking. Once is too many. This is when one boob is a different size than the other. And I’m not talking a little different, I’m talking a couple of sizes here.

Pizza Boobs

Boobs with pimples. Often, this is only a temporary thing that afflicts teenage girls. But still, not very enticing. If you look at these for only a quick glance, it can be baffling because it may appear as though the nipple is in the wrong spot. Or it may quickly appear as though there are multiple nipples.

Various Other Boobs I Don’t Like

• Man boobs
• Boobs that point upwards
• Boobs with multiple nipples

Ultimately, most boobs in this world are gorgeous. The boobs I’ve listed here are rare. Most boobs are real and most boobs are spectacular.

But there is one type of boob that I hate the most. And these boobs are the most beautiful set of boobs in the world. They are the boobs that got away.

Recommended Listening: Hungry Like The Wolf by Duran Duran.

Tags: Humour, Women?