New Birthday Tradition

… or maybe I’m just the world’s biggest mamma’s boy.

A couple years ago I had a realization. Why do people get gifts on their birthday? What did I do to deserve a present on the anniversary of my birth? From all accounts of people there when I was born, all I did was be born. I didn’t cry, I didn’t do much of anything. I just kind of lied there and let the doctor smack me in the ass.

My mother, she did all the bloody work. She shot me out of her loins like the demonspawn that I am. She should be given a present or an award or medal or something.

That’s why a couple years ago I got into the habit of giving my mother a gift on my birthday. A little thank you for birthing me gift. The second Sunday in May, that’s nothing to me. My mother did jack squat that day. To me, Mother’s Day comes in the Autumn. It’s my Mother’s day because its the day my mother became my mother.

So this year, I’m not just gettting my mother a gift, I’m telling anybody who’ll listen (or read in this case) to get their mother a gift on the day she became a mother.

Recommended Listening: Mama by Genesis. Not really on topic, but the title fits and its a heck of tune.

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