The Bar

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything substantial about those wacky little gremlins on the airplane of life, women.

The bar is a very odd place in this world. It is quite unlike any other place in the world. The bar is where women have all the power and it’s much more obvious there than any place else. Not all men know that women have all the power in the world, sure those who’ve read my series on women know that as well as any men with like minds to mine. But in the bar, every man knows that in those four walls, women are more powerful.

In the bar, the women are all powerful. They are the judge, jury and executioner.

Here is the situation. A man walks into a bar (ouch). He sees a woman. The woman sees him. If that man wants to talk to that woman, he must make every move, not just the first. This man, before going upto the woman, has to deal with the most difficult decision any man ever has to make more than once: be yourself or be creative. By being yourself, the man just says “Hello, my name is…” or some simple variant. Thus relying on some physical characteristic (an appealling appearance) to not make the woman turn around in indifference. To be creative, the man knows that his appearance isn’t going to get him the woman’s name, so he has to use some hyper-personality behaviour to make an impression on the woman. This is where the silly pickup lines come into play. They really only work on a select few women and are often aided by the man’s physical appearance. For an ugly man, there really is no hope of meeting a woman.

Women differ greatly from men in this situation. If a woman (like this will ever happen) actually went upto a man and did the “Hello, my name is…” line, it will always work. Women deny the validity of that statement. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, women will mess with a man’s mind just because they can. They know it works, but they will never do it. Those who’ve said they’ve done it, are lying. Again, women lie.

Women refuse to accept the fact that it is difficult for a guy to approach a gal. Of course, when the shoe is on the other (more slender) foot, the woman’s response is always “Oh no, I can’t. I’ll get turned down.” Well, what the heck do you women think us guys have to go through everytime one of us approaches one of you? Men in bars, are at best, just like Wile E. Coyote. They run into that painting of the tunnel knowing full well, its just a painting on the side of a mountain, but the Roadrunner is in there and the Coyote is starving. It’s suicide, it really is, but the man does it anyway. What choice does he really have at that point?

Let’s say the man gets lucky enough to get a conversation with the woman. Let’s say, he gets her number. Let’s say, it’s not a bogus number. It will be tomorrow. When interviewed, the best answer a woman ever gave me as to why they give out the fake phone number is this: “I don’t want to create a scene.” Women would rather get a guy’s hopes up just to jerk him around later.

To get a bit personal for a moment, it really has been a long, long time since I’ve met a woman, in person, who I would actually want to get to know better. And only one woman, just one, has ever had the courage to actually say “No” to me. I’ve heard every excuse the English language allows. I’ve heard every reason to get blown off. But only one woman has actually said no. That rejection, I was able to get over really quickly. (A little part of me thinks she might be a man in disguise.) The rejection sucked. They all do. But the honesty cushioned the blow. There was no false sense of hope, there was no chance for optimistic thought.

The WhatIGotSoFar series on Women

The Ladies: A Man’s Perspective

Why Did She Do That?

Breasts, Boobs and Bazongas

More On [ic] Women

The Toilet Seat

Lesbians!

Face-itude

Tags: Animation, Love?, Women?