Meep Meep
It’s been some time since I’ve written another entry in my series on women. But this morning, inspiration struck.
In many ways, a woman is like the Roadrunner. It travels around at high speeds shaking its tailfeather. All the while being persued by the Coyote. Man is the Coyote. The Coyote chases the Roadrunner repeatedly, failing with every opportunity.
The difference, the only difference, between a woman and the Roadrunner, is that the Roadrunner doesn’t complain about how the Coyote can never seem to catch it. Women complain when there aren’t any nices guys around. Ladies, the nice guys are everywhere. Stop running and turn around. See that Coyote with the Acme Rocket Roller Skates that’s about to slam into a tunnel painted on the side of a large rock, he’s a nice guy. Talk to him. For the love of God, don’t let that poor soul slam into the rock.
Ladies, next time you feel the need to utter the phrase “Why can’t I meet some nice guys?” Stop, that guy you’re talking to, he’s a nice guy. He is listening to you, isn’t he. Sure, he’s not the cutest guy in the world, but I’m sure he’s got some traits you’ve been looking for in a potential mate. So, date that Coyote. If things don’t work out, it’s real easy to trick him into falling off a cliff.
The WhatIGotSoFar series on Women
May 6, 2008 at 8:35 am
I think I’ve met about two nice guys in my life, and maybe 1/2 of another one haha, he was very nice ….. but not entirely nice if that makes any sense at all. He was naive and made decisions that turned him into an ass. You must not be talking about yourself though, as i’d imagine nice guys return emails.
May 6, 2008 at 9:41 am
Burn!
May 6, 2008 at 10:05 am
This ws pretty funny. But I don’t see any coyotes in my neighbourhood.
May 6, 2008 at 10:46 am
That was nice, other than the fact that it portrayed we males as complete dumbasses.
May 6, 2008 at 10:58 am
Do you honestly believe women want nice guys?
May 6, 2008 at 11:40 am
Miss Ash - I’m no coyote, but I am a supergenious.
Rawbean - Stop, turn around, look at the bottom of that cliff, that dude in the green bat suit, coyote.
Heff - When dealing with the women, aren’t we all a bunch of complete dumbasses.
Wiwille - I do NOT believe women want nice guys. I know this because they claim to want nice guys. That is why I’m helping them find the nice guys by pointing them out to the women. Thus proving my earlier thesis: women want to f*ck with our heads.
May 6, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Oh, I love this! Perfect analogy. This is by far the best installment on your women series. You’ll find your roadrunner someday soon, I just know it. WATCH OUT FOR THAT CLIFF!!!!
May 6, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Nice guys finish last..
Take it from me, I was with the King of the Assholes, and stay for 7 years!
May 6, 2008 at 1:04 pm
I don’t know many nice guys. The modern-day coyotes in my city are either cocky as hell or geeky to the point of being afraid to talk to the roadrunners at all. All I want is a level-headed boy who knows how to have fun, knows when to get serious, has ambition, and has a great sense of humour. Good looks help too, but heck, I’m attracted to all sorts of styles and personalities when it comes to coyotes.
May 6, 2008 at 2:15 pm
You’re preaching to the choir. I haven’t been single for more than a month or two since I was 14. 4 relationships across 21 years. I see great single guys all the time that I’d surely date if I weren’t attached. Guys that are hot and know it don’t attract me at all. I prefer the slightly shy ones who are just waiting to be appreciated. If I were single, my qualifications would be: smart, healthy, good sense of humour, clean and tidy.
May 6, 2008 at 3:28 pm
In the end woman do want nice guys, not those wishy washy, indecisive asses. But we want them to be cool too. Can we have both?
May 6, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Random Chick - I actually think this post falls far short of the ideas I had during my brainstorming session. Problem is I didn’t write the ideas down. I came up with this idea during a session in my serenity room.
Sarebeth - Nice guys finish last. Stealing lines from Carmen Electra, that’s pretty low.
Grace - so, nothing short of the Prince of the realm, eh? Picky picky.
Spark - At times, it sounded like you were describing wine.
Rawbean - Nope. You gotta choose: wishy washy asses or cool guys; can’t have ‘em both.
May 6, 2008 at 7:28 pm
All the nice guys I know are gay.
May 6, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Women want nice guys and guys don’t care if girls have big boobs or not, right?
May 6, 2008 at 8:41 pm
So are you saying I can have cool and nice?
May 6, 2008 at 9:21 pm
How about a guy who isn’t a dick but not a pushover either? It seems like a guy is either seen as an asshole or a ‘nice guy’, but I’d honestly like the best of both. Most nice guys I’ve known were so nice they were boring. I need something a little more interesting.
May 6, 2008 at 11:22 pm
WIGSF, I have been noticing lately that a lot of your regular respondents are women. This is the kind of blog where it is very noticeable.
May 7, 2008 at 7:00 am
Maxie - maybe its you, maybe you turn guys gay.
JLee - I don’t care. As long as she doesn’t have ugly boobs.
Rawbean - you can have whatever you’d like.
Andrea - try dating a monkey. They fun and unpredictable.
Bob - And Bob is short for Kate, right?
May 7, 2008 at 2:19 pm
I almost forgot to mention - I like it when they have subtle notes of oak and tamarind.
May 7, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Nice.
May 7, 2008 at 11:18 pm
For many years I thought I wanted a rough bad boy cowboy and I then I got one… two…three in a row. Kapow! Kind of like getting sick drunk on bourbon and after that you can’t drink any bourbon any more, ever. So now I am very very happy with a very very good guy. He’s. All. Mine.
May 12, 2008 at 3:55 pm
I’m a roadrunner, and I’m offended by this. Kidding, kidding. But it’s true about the roadrunner part.
May 12, 2008 at 6:32 pm
I tell ya, Chuck Jones was onto something.