Me Needs Meme

I gots me some tag for a meme by Random Chick. I had to take the tag. Random Chick threatened to “throw up” on my blog if I didn’t. Frankly, I’m a little bit curious about that. How does one throw up on a blog? Really, what’s she gonna do? Post a bunch of comments with words like “BLECH!” and “BARF!” That really doesn’t bother me all that much. If she’s got that kind of free time, I say go for it.

The purpose of this meme is to google my first name and the word needs. So, if my name was Horatio, I would type into the Google search field “Horatio needs” and take the first ten results and describe them here.

First, I tried with “Whatigotsofar needs” and most of the first ten results were links to this blog or the two other blogs I rarely contribute to.

I tried again, this time using my real first name. Here are my brief descriptions of the first ten results Google provided.

1. The meeting notes from some architecture discussion.
2. A restaurant in Omaha.
3. A review on tripadvisor.com for some place in Bonita Springs, Florida. I think it’s an Italian restaurant.
4. A metal tin.
5. Some sort of dance music record, a 12″ single I believe.
6. Some guy’s MySpace page. An older guy in Santa Monica.
7. A forum in italiangenealogy.com.
8. A hotel in Greece that caters to persons with special needs.
9. A blog posting about the treasure of some mafia guy.
10. Does the phrase “Journal of Sexual Medicine” really need any more explanation?

I’m not going to tag anyone with this. However, if you don’t take this meme, Random Chick may throw up on your blog. Okay, you’ve been warned.

Another Stolen Meme

Stole this meme from Claire. That’s right, I’m a thief; whatcha gonna do ’bout it?

How old are you?
I am the grand old awesome age of twenty-seven. Or at least I was, last time I checked! (That’s right, I even stole her answer!)

How many musical instruments can you play?
I used to play the piana, but that was many years ago. All I can remember is where the middle C is.

How many countries have you lived in?
1, The Canada!

How many schools have you attended?
St. Pascal’s, St. Charles, Langstaff and Seneca, so I guess 4.

How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?
Boyfriends, more than I’d like to admit in such a public forum. Girlfriends, less than I’d like to admit in such a public forum.

How many years since you last played on a swing?
Final year of high school so… shit, I can’t count backwards, lets say 10.

How many bones have you broken?
I think 1, but I didn’t go to the doctor or anything, I just let it heal by itself.

How many siblings do you have?
1

How many homes have you had?
I’ve (personally) never owned my own home. Stuck renting for now. But I’ve lived in four houses.

How many people have you kissed?
I’d rather not discuss my criminal history.

How many languages can you speak?
None, I’m a mute.

How many times have you been in love?
Well, last weekend I was in love with ice cream. Best thing about vanilla ice cream, it hides my love. (Yes, that was the sickest shit you’ve ever read.)

Award & Meme

I woke up this morning to find out I have won an award. (Yippee for me!) Sparkling Red of No More Casual Nonchalance has awarded me (among many others) the Arte Y Pico award. (Is it just me or does that picture look like some sort of trophy to be awarded to a European football club?) The award, as is my understanding, has to do with this blog’s ability to inspire other bloggers and foster creativity throughout Internetland.

Here are the award rules as swiped from Spark’s blog:

1. You have to pick 5 blogs that you consider deserve this award through creativity, design, interesting material, and also contributes to the blogger community, no matter of language.
2. Each award should have the name of the author with a link to their blog.
3. Award winners have to post the award with the name and link to the blog of the person who gave them the award.
4. Please include a link to the Arte Y Pico blog so that everyone will know where the award came from.

So, now I have to come up with five blogs that contribute to the blogging community. (I mean, I can’t just give it right back to Spark, she’s already got the award.) So, here goes in whatever order I think of them.

• Woozie of The Tome of Communism for proving that good political discourse and satire can and should include the occasional rick-roll.
• Wiwille of Erik’s Ramblings just ’cause I like reading his blog and he usually gives me ideas for things I could blog about.
• Big Ben of Memoirs of an oversized Canadian for showing me that marriage doesn’t mean you stop taking photos of naked statues.
• Random Chick of Confessions of a Random Chick because she can still rock out with the best of them, even after she’d been pelted with dodgeballs.
• Heff of Heff’s Bar and Grill for digitizing the bar and grill experience. I like good music and I like a good drink once in a while. Isn’t that what a bar and grill should provide?

The award also carries with it a meme. A short one, five little known facts about myself. Pretty hard though. already I’ve written pretty much everything about myself I’m willing to write.

1. Last night I dreamt about being in relationship with a bossy pushy woman and not breaking up with her solely because I didn’t want to create a scene.
2. Before I was a year old, I had spent three months in the hospital for a serious procedure on my throat. Can still see the scar on my neck.
3. I regularly take my car through the car wash even though I don’t think it does a very good job of washing my car.
4. I may need surgery to correct a problem with my toes.
5. I ate half a tub of ice cream for lunch on Saturday. (I am having a hard time coming up with five things.)

Rules of Sleeping when Not Alone

Reading this post over at Starting Over @ 24 got me thinking, (maybe I’m just out of blog ideas for this morning), but I think our 21st century society needs some rules for sleeping when not alone.

Now, I know what you’re all thinking right now, “WIGSF, you’re the last person who should be giving advice on sleeping with another person in the bed. You’re the lonliest, most pathetic loser there ever was.” And to that I say “Fuck you! I got nothing else worth writing today, so I’m writing this, dammit!”

Rule #1 - No Dutch ovens, EVER. I know they’re really funny, but still, really gross. Haven’t you seen that Dr. Ho informercial, passing wind is the release of toxic gas from your intestines. Go to the washroom and do it in there.

Rule #2 - No poking. I mean poking, the kind with the finger. Just because you can’t sleep doesn’t mean the other person in bed with you isn’t trying to sleep. Let the person sleep. This rule can be overriden by rule #3 though.

Rule #3 - Ladies, putting out is mandatory. If the guy wants a little somethin’-somethin’, just oblige him. He won’t sleep until you do and he won’t let you sleep until you do. But ladies, you don’t have to give your A-game, you just have to be there and pretty much let the guy get it over with. He isn’t exactly bringing his A-game either. The sooner you let him mount you, the sooner it will be over and you can get some sleep.

Rule #4 - If there is a TV in the room, it must be turned on. Proven fact, radiation from televisions combined with the gentle hum of late night humour relax whole muscle groups and help people get to sleep. So, leave the TV on. But if the TV has a sleep setting, please use it.

Rule #5 - If you have to go, get up and go. This isn’t the 19th century anymore, chamber pots aren’t common things to be found underneath beds these days. Get up and go to the bathroom.

Rule #6 - Wear something. It matters not how hot the weather is, wear something, anything. If the fire alarm goes off, do you really want to be the one jumping out of bed buck naked? I didn’t think so. At least some underwear. Note: this rule does NOT apply to sexy ladies. They can be naked all they damn well please.

Rule #7 - If sleeping in a guest room of a friend or family member while visiting, don’t have any freaky, kinky sex. Remember, this isn’t your house and it’s not a hotel; it’s your friend’s house. Having sex is okay, it’s expected, but nothing crazy. Do you really want your friend to have to clean your spooj off the walls? How would you like it if you had to clean your friend’s spooj off the walls of your guest room?

Rule #8 - Don’t bring food unless you’re willing to share. The bed is just like first grade, don’t bring treats unless you have enough for the entire class.

Rule #9 - Names are important. Don’t share a bed with anybody unless you know their name or are paying that person enough to let you call them whatever you want. It’s not so much you need to use their name, it’s just rude to not have had that discussion before spending the night with another person.

Rule #10 - Leave the money on the night table. This one is pretty self-explanatory.

Rule #11 - Never be the smelliest person in the bed. If you have to bath before bed, do it. Deodourant, cologne, perfume, a pine tree car air freshener, anything. Don’t go to bed rank. Someone else has to sleep next to you, and if you stink, you’re getting kicked out of bed and will end up sleeping in the bathtub.

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Turkey Update - Carmine has yet to notice the humping turkeys in his backyard.