Weekend Precap: Victoria Day Weekend

Often referred to as the May Two-Four weekend, the upcoming Monday is a holiday in Canada in celebration of Queen Victoria’s birthday. Yes, Queen Victoria passed away more than one hundred years ago, but in Canada, and possibly other Commonwealths, Her Royal Majesty’s birthday is still a holiday. But in Canada, the holiday has evolved into an excuse for people to go to a cottage, drink a two-four (24 bottles of beer) and moon the provincial police from the back of a pickup truck doing 51 kilometres over the speedlimit on the highway. Oh, and fireworks. Apparently the Queen loved fireworks, so every year, Canadians shoot fireworks into the sky.

That sort of fun isn’t my cup of tea. I’m not a cottage guy (why drive two hours just to mow the lawn when I can stay home and mow the lawn), I prefer either draught beer or hard liquor and I’ve had enough run-ins the law for one lifetime. No sense in showing them my fat ass.

This weekend, I will probably find every excuse to sleep in three days in a row. Sure, I’m incapable of sleeping in, period. But I can try dammit!

Tonight (Friday night), I’ve got dinner plans. Not sure where the dinner will be, a restaurant no doubt, but which one. Right now (Friday morning), I’m feeling Montanas Cookhouse, but maybe by dinnertime, I’ll be feeling Baton Rouge or Il Fornello. Also, it may be best for me to let my dining partner share in the decision making process.

With my friend Columbia still in town and a new wing place opened up in Richmond Hill, we’ve got to go out for wings at some point. Everytime Columbia comes back to Richmond Hill, we go out for wings.

Bob has again floated the idea of going to a drive-in movie. Apparently a drive-in about an hour north of here is running a triple feature on Sunday night. I don’t know, a drive-in movie doesn’t sound like something two guys should do. He has also mentioned this to the Wonder Twins with the hopes of getting the Twins to bring some of their young, single, female friends along as well. If that is the case, I think it may be better if I don’t go. Bob doesn’t need me running interference. Besides, one look at me and one look at Bob, and I think I know which way the single ladies will go. As far away as possible.

As for working this weekend, I don’t think I will. It doesn’t look like this Saturday is going to have any meetings scheduled. But I will probably have to help do some yardwork at my parents’ place. That’s probably a good thing. Working outside in the fresh air will do me good.

Happy Victoria Day everybody! Go see some fireworks and please try not to shoot the fireworks directly at other people.

Weekend Recap: Days for the Ladies

Friday

After work I scooted down to the closest Godiva Chocolatier. Mother’s Day was approaching and my mother likes chocolates. Okay, maybe ‘likes’ is an understatement. She’s willing to inflict pain on those who would stand in between her and chocolate.

I did my usual picking out of 8 pairs of chocolate truffles. As I paid, I was given four boxes of chocolates (some sort of prepackaged chocolate domes or something) on the house. Godiva was doing some Mother’s Day promotion. Spend so much money, get so much chocolate free. Now, what am I going to do with all this chocolate?

I MSNed with my buddy Columbia from New York City. Always nice to hear (well, read) from him.

Friday was one of those days were I was feeling fat. Probably had something to do with the Tim Hortons maple promotions. Regardless, I have to refocus myself on tightening.

At night, a bunch of us (Bob, Chrissy & Boston) met up to celebrate Janet’s birthday.

(If anybody is curious, this is the birthday I was trying to shop for last weekend. I eventually got out again and shopped slightly more effectively. Got to the store well before closing time. I didn’t want to get Janet a gift card. Although the gift card was going to be my last ditch effort if I couldn’t find anything. Instead, a made a little gift bag of things. A book, a couple of CDs and a mug. I tried to find some sort of coffee or tea to put in the mug, but I couldn’t find anything I felt appropriate and I didn’t want to go to a second store. I dunno, I hope I done good. My goal, get her something she’ll like, something she might not have ever gotten for herself or something she wouldn’t have thought to get for herself and something that says “friend” unmistakenably. Again, I hope I done good.)

We went to some rinky-dink bar in Toronto called Locals. Walked in there and saw this huge air brush painting of Phil Lynett (the guy from Thin Lizzy) on the wall but the band was playing some good ol’ bluegrass. Pretty cool to me. I didn’t see any sexy chicas in the place though. It looked like an older crowd.

At the bar, beer was drunk, fun times were had, one big lesson was learned. If somebody says “How about this ‘badass’ beer?” Turn it down. It’s bad and tastes like ass.

Saturday

Up at 7:53AM. Out the door, on my way to work at 8:12AM.

At work, I got some stuff done pretty quick. My boss called, said he was coming in within thirty minutes or so. Of course, with him, that means like an hour or so. I sat around, wrote this blog post upto this point. Pretty much writing it because I’m at my desk, trying not to fall asleep. It’s a quiet day and pretty much without my boss giving me some stuff to do, I’m done everything. I can’t give the plans to the clients if my boss doesn’t prepare the plans, right?

So I spent much of Saturday morning, slowly surfing the web from my workstation.

Eventually, I just got fed up and left.

As soon as I got home, my phone rang. It was my boss. He wanted to know where I was. I told him I went home. He said he didn’t have his keys with him. He wouldn’t be able to get into work. Too bad, I wasn’t leaving my house at that point.

I took a much needed nap.

In the evening, Bob and the Wonder Twins came to my place. We played some Trivial Pursuit: Warner Bros. Edition. Very hard, very very hard. Questions about obscure Hanna Barbera cartoons are not easy. Afterwards, we went to Tim Hortons and hung out at the corner gas station. Pretty lame for a Saturday night.

Sunday

It was Mother’s Day. My family went to the banquet hall my brother’s wedding will be held at. His fiancee also came with her parents and a brother. The eight of us celebrated Mother’s Day together. The hall looks like a nice place. The grounds there look pretty nice too. My brother and his fiancee are going to have the ceremony right there, outdoors, in the hall’s grounds. The hall is on something like thirty plus acres of land. Lots of trees for my brother to hide in if he gets cold feet.

Music Guessing Game

Monday is the final day to enter submissions for the final round of the music guessing game.

Tim Hortons Maple Overload

Every month, Tim Hortons (large donut chain in Canada) changes its special flavour to coincide with the season. For the month of May, Timmys is going overboard with the maple flavour.

This is where I wipe the drool from my keyboard.

Yesterday, I tried their maple shortbread cookie.

I purchased the cookie as part of their sandwich combo. My boss wanted the sandwich and the coffee and I took the cookie. He didn’t know there was a cookie. If I’m doing the leg work by fetching my boss’ lunch, I should at least get a cookie out of the deal.

Yesterday, being the hectic mess that it was, I couldn’t sit down and enjoy a cookie. I ate it on the road driving to a meeting.

I arrived at the meeting, stack of files in my hands and this weird smile on my face. One that said both über-exhaustion and orgasmic bliss.

The gentlemen I was meeting asked me how it was going; general greeting question, right? My answer: “Cookie.”

We discussed business for all of two minutes, but the meeting turned into a discussion as to why I didn’t bring this man a cookie too.

This was one special cookie. Shortbread, when done right, is one of the finest things a man can put in his mouth. I wouldn’t call this the best piece of shortbread though. I wouldn’t have called it shortbread at all. I was more of a sugar cookie than it was shortbread. But instead of the cookie standard, chocolate chips, the cookie was peppered with drops of maple syrup. Ooey gooey maple syrup.

Again, I must wipe the drool from my keyboard.

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Today is the last day to enter a submission in Music Guessing Game 3. I’ve prepared the final round and will be uploading it shortly.

Weekend Recap — Iron Man: Superhero or Laundromat Employee

Friday

Like my usual Fridays, I stayed in and relaxed knowing that I had to work the next day.

Saturday

After work, I went to pick up Bob and head to Scarberia. I rang the buzzer for his condo twice and got no answer. I went back to my car, called his cellphone and got no answer there. So I turned the car on and made my preparations to leave. He knew I was coming. If he doesn’t want to come with me, well, he should have had the decency to at least tell me.

Right before I put the car into reverse, I heard this thumping on the window. Oh my God! I’m being carjacked by a manatee… or wait, that’s just Bob.

The two of us headed out to Scarberia. There, we picked up the Wonder Twins and another person and drove out to Pickering. We were going to Dennys!

It wasn’t until we were sitting down, perusing the menu before I spoke up. “Hey, this menu says ‘The Pickering Grill.’ It’s not Dennys anymore.”

The food was fine but the waitress seemed a bit disturbed by my willingness to wear a wedding dress.

After dinner, which consisted solely of breakfast foods, we went back to Scarberia and the Wonder Twins place. There a sixth person joined us and we played some Canadian board game called Cranium. The game resulted in Bob, intentionally, punching himself in the nards, me humming Cum On Feel the Noize and generic brand play-doh substitute sculpting of breasts and other erogenous zones.

Sunday

Laundry day. I have lots of dirty clothes. You know the single guy lifestyle. Don’t do laundry until there is one pair of clean socks and one clean underwear left in the dresser. But at that point, get as many washing machines going simultaneously as possible. Laundry, the man’s way.

Later, me and Juice ventured out into the real world. One of my friend’s birthday has just passed and I’ve got to get her a gift or something. I went to the mall for inspiration only to find out the mall was closing in ten minutes. Women like gift cards, right?

He had an onion in his belt, which was the style at the time.

I know you’re old and lonely, but do you think McDonalds is the place to be telling your life story.

That’s what I should have said.

Today, I went to McDonalds for a late breakfast. I had a hankering for a McMuffin. I shouldn’t have had one, but my stomach tells me what to do and when to do it.

As I entered the restaurant, an old man entered at the same time. I can be a nice guy sometimes; I purposely walked really slowly so he’d get to the counter first.

This guy, when he was served, he asked the cashier if a certain person was working today. He didn’t know the woman’s name, only had a brief description of her. The old man then began regailing the cashier about his entire life. “I live in Brantford… I had to drop off my wife… I was watching the soccer game on television…” I could tell the cashier just wanted to yell “Get to the point!” But she didn’t, she waited patiently.

It turns out the old man wanted to complain about being served the wrong item on Saturday. He ordered a sausage and egg McMuffin on Saturday but received a bacon and egg McMuffin.

The manager stepped in at the end of the story, at which point the old man began telling the story again, from the begining. and offered to give the man a meal on the house. “No, no, no. I’ll pay for my meal today. I just wanted you to know that I received the wrong order on Saturday.”

When the woman who had served him on Saturday walked by the cashier station to refill something, he began to tell her the entire story.

So, while I waited for my food, (I did get served during his second telling of the story) and ate my food, I heard this story two more times. He lives in Brantford. He had to drop his wife off. He wanted to eat his meal while watching the soccer game on television. He used the microwave to reheat his McMuffin. He was given bacon instead of sausage.

Maybe this old guy needs to get a blog. That way he can put all his long winded stories about things that don’t matter in one place and people who want to know them, can go there and read them. That’s what I do.

Blogging on a Saturday Night

I worked more than half a day today. Then afterwards I went out with Bob and the Wonder Twins. After a filling dinner of steak and mashed potatoes at Montanas Cookhouse, I decided to call it a night. I returned home to find a house that smells like a house that a dog lives in. I’ve got no dogs. Why does my house smell like dog? Whatever, I’m staying in on Saturday night and blogging.

Just for the record, I’m not a Bon Jovi fan. They got their moments and they don’t completely suck. But I wouldn’t call myself a fan. I certainly wouldn’t attend one of their concerts. And I’ve been offered a ticket to their last show in Toronto. I chose not to go. I know it would just be me yelling at the band “Hey, are you guys from Jersey?”

In the past couple of days, I’ve noticed that my site has received a lot of hits from people searching for “awesomeball.” A while back I had this idea of inventing a game called Awesomeball. In fact, that post I wrote is the third result on Google. What I’d like to know is why, all of a sudden, are people googling awesomeball? Last Wednesday, that post had 117 hits. What happened last week that turned awesomeball into something of interest for a small group of people?

Earlier today, as I sat outside talking to Wonder Twin Zan, I actually looked up at the heavens and shouted “Shouldn’t it be snowing!” It was like 20 degrees outside today. It’s gotten too hot too fast this year. In fact, the winter wasn’t very cold. I am dreading this upcoming summer. I don’t like hot weather. I’m a winter person. Jack Frost, why have you foresaken me?

A Post for Miss Ash

I think it’s been a while since I posted about eating out. Probably because there was a while in which I didn’t eat out much. But in the past few days, I’ve ate out a lot. So, here’s a rundown.

Saturday night, dinner at Barootes. This place had ostrich on the menu, but not just any ostrich, Ontario ostrich. Janet seeing that on the menu pondered aloud “There’s ostrichs in Ontario?” My obvious response “No, they’re from South Africa, I think, so I guess the chef just strolls down to the zoo and picks a couple off.” I didn’t have the ostrich, but I’m very curious now. I think I should go back there and try the ostrich.

Monday night, dinner at Jack Astors. Me and Bob went to the Raptors game and as our tradition before games, eating at Jack Astors. I got there well before Bob and had some time to kill, so while waiting for him, I ordered an appetizer and ate it. Bob didn’t even notice I had eaten when he got there.

Monday night, dinner at Baton Rouge. It was my mother’s birthday, so me and my brother took her out for dinner. All I had to eat that day was a bagel at around 10:00AM, so I was starving. I ate the garlic toast bread, then had some of those tortilla-like chips, then I cleaned the plate my entree was served on. That Baton Rouge chicken tenders platter with the garlic mashed potatoes is sooooo goooooood. MMMMM!