What Disgusts You?

What disgusts you? I’m not talking about slimey, oozy things. I mean things that probably shouldn’t be disgusting, but for some reason, really makes you gag. I’m talking about social things.

For me, I’m disgusted by people who have tongue studs and are always playing with it. Flicking the stud with their teeth, it makes this awful metallic high-pitched door knocker sound. The only reason I don’t grab that tongue stud and rip it out is fear of being bitten by someone who might have rabies. People who get their tongues pierced and flick them don’t often look like the sort who bathe regularly.

I’m also disgusted by underage girls who dress like whores. These little girls make me sick. Just because they’re jailbait, doesn’t mean they have to advertise that fact. Hey little girls, cover the fuck up!

Speaking of women who show to much skin. How about muffintops. I’ve got nothing against women with a bit of meat on them. I kinda like it. But you get these women who are a little bit overweight walking around in low-rider pants that are two sizes too small, then they wear those baby tees that leave their midrift showing. The tightness of the clothing forces the flab into the naked area of the lower torso. It makes the woman look like she’s wearing a flesh-coloured innertube; a picture perfect image of a spare tire.

Take a look at this photo I found from googling “muffin top” and you’ll see a good example of the flesh innertube. This woman is not huge. She didn’t just escape from a tank at Sea World. She’s just a regular woman, maybe a pound or two over her suggested weight. For all I know, she could be a very attractive woman. But here she is, walking around, looking like she’s got a floatation device wrapped around her. If she put on some proper clothes, I wouldn’t have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach as the bile builds and rises.

Here are some other things that sicken me:

Light cigarettes. Me, I don’t smoke. Never have. But I can understand the appeal of tobacco smoke. Real tobacco, has an odour that is tolerable. But today, with these light cigarettes, doped up with all kinds of chemicals, they smell just God awful.

Guys who only date women under twenty. If the guy is twenty, it’s okay. But once the guy starts getting close to thirty, it becomes disgusting. It only stops being disgusting in the situation where the guy is old and rich and the woman is a gold-digging model. But at that point, the thought of an old naked man is disgusting all on its own.

So, again I ask, what disgusts you?

Another Stolen Meme

Stole this one from Foster Communications

1. Do you like blue cheese? Hell no.

2. Have you ever smoked heroin? Smoked heroin, no.

3. Do you own a gun? MEGATRON!

4. What flavor do you add to your drink? Huh? I like my drinks drink-flavoured. That questions I don’t get.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? No.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I don’t like dogs. I don’t think any of them are hot. I’m human. I like other humans.

7. Favorite Christmas movie? Bad Santa

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Either coffee, tea or orange juice. For some reason, soda pops are socially unacceptable to drink in the morning. Why? Who knows? Coffee and cola are pretty similar. Both have lots of caffeine and sugar.

9. Can you do push ups? Yes, I can do more than one, therefore legitimizing the plurality of push ups.

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My tiny gold cross necklace.

12. Favorite hobbies? Critisizing things.

13. Phrase you use most often? wink wink nudge nudge

14. Do you have A.D.D.? I don’t think ADD is real. If it is, its over-diagnosed.

15. What’s one trait you hate about yourself? My shyness.

16. Middle name? Was my grandfather’s nickname.

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: Copying memes should be made easier, commercials on the radio suck and do vegetarians and vegans like flowers.

18. Name 4 things you bought yesterday? Gas, coffee, bagel, another coffee.

19. Next vacation? Can’t come soon enough.

20. Current worry? My waist size.

21. Current hate right now? Radio commercials.

22. Favorite place to be? In bed.

23. How did you bring in the New Year? Small get-together with loved ones.

24. What’d you get for your birthday? A video game, a tie, lotsa drinks, a book about The Simpsons with neo-liberal undertones.

25. Name three people who will complete this? Not sure, maybe Miss Ash or JLee or Claire. They seem to like doing memes when they can’t think of anything else to blog about. That’s why I’m doing this meme.

26. Do you own slippers? No, but I’d love a pair of big fuzzy slippers.

27. What shirt are you wearing? Easy Pistol!

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Never tried it. Sounds nice though.

29. Can you whistle? Only with a whistle in my lips.

30. Favorite colors? Red

31. Would you be a pirate? Don’t like nautical travel.

32. What songs do you sing in the shower? Whatever’s stuck in my head, or Satisfaction Pony.

33. Favorite girl’s name? Mary

34. Favorite boy’s name? Horatio

35. What’s in your pocket right now? Cellphone, car key, wallet.

36. Last thing that made you laugh? Emailing to someone about how cuteness should be punished.

37. Best bed sheets as a child? Looney Tunes characters in spaceships.

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Bruised ribs after a fat kid sat on me in grade 3.

39. Do you love where you live? I love my neighbourhood. Its the best place I’ve ever lived.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house? 3 TVs, 2 of them are plugged in. Plus one very large computer monitor that functions as though it is a TV and a USB TV tuner beside my laptop.

41. Who is the loudest friend you have? My friends are all quiet. I’m the loud one. Ya hear me. I’m LOUD!

42. How many dogs do you have?? None.

43. Does someone have a crush on you? I really doubt it.

44. What is your favorite book? Invisible Republic by Greil Marcus

45. What is your favorite candy? Rockets

46. Favorite Sports Team? Atlanta Braves

47. What song do you want played at your funeral? Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John

48.What were you doing 12 AM last night? Sleeping in my bed.

49. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Damn, I woke up before the alarm!

Four Square

Got tagged by Spark of No More Casual Nonchalance.

Four jobs I’ve had

1. pin monkey
2. shipper/receiver
3. assistant manager of an indie record store
4. video store clerk

Four places I’ve lived

1. 67 Madawaska Ave. - I think that’s the number. I lived there until I was 6.
2. 118 Old Surrey Lane
3. On May Ave. Only lived there for 13 months. I think the number was 117, but I could be wrong.
4. The place I live now in Maple. I like it very much.

Four people I want to bitch-slap right into the middle of next week

1. Paul Watson.
2. That Coffee Crisp hypnotist.
3. David Suzuki.
4. Ingrid Newkirk

Four people who e-mail me regularly

1. Bob.
2. Spammers who want to make my dick bigger.
3. Spammers who want me to give them my credit card info.
4. Spammers who want to use my credit card info to make Bob’s dick bigger.

Four TV shows I watch

1. The Simpsons
2. How I Met Your Mother
3. Sportscentre
4. Futurama

Four places I’ve visited

1. Ottawa
2. New York
3. Washington DC
4. Boston

Four favourite foods

1. Pancakes.
2. Fried chicken, white meat only.
3. French toast.
4. Garlic mashed potatoes.

Four places I’d like to be right now

1. In bed.
2. In bed with a beautiful lady.
3. In bed with a lady who isn’t beautiful.
4. Dennys.

Four things I’m looking forward to this year

1. My brother’s wedding.
2. My birthday.
3. Getting that decoy of the two turkeys humping and hiding in my father’s backyard and seeing how long it takes him to notice it.
4. The next Futurama DVD.

Four people I’m tagging

1. You.
2. That person who reads your blog but doesn’t read mine.
3. Your significant other.
4. The person who never gets tagged for any memes.

Stolen Meme

I stole this meme type thing from Miss Ash.

My roommate and I once lived together. No wait, we didn’t. I’ve never had a roommate. Boy, started this thing off with a bang, didn’t I?

Never in my life have I had sexual relations with a man. Which is pretty understandable. I’m straight and always have been.

High school was eye-opening. I went from a Catholic grade school to a public high school. Deep down, the morals of the people I met were very different.

When I am nervous I can’t sleep.

My hair is still not grey. I think that’s a milestone. Everybody else in my family has gone grey. I think I take after my grandfather. I remember him still having not gone completely grey when I was a kid and he musta been well over sixty.

When I was 5 the Leafs were a joke and the Canadians were one of the best teams in the NHL. Wow, not much has changed.

By this time next year I will have taken a vacation. A much needed vacation.

I have a hard time understanding women.

You know I like you if I listen to you.

My ideal breakfast is fattening. Oh, you want more details. Sure, how about some pancakes or french toast, vanilla bean tea and a hash brown or some bacon. Oh, homefries. Nix the hash browns and gimme some homefries.

If you visit my hometown I will show you where that mafia guy got gunned down in a driveby. Then we’ll go out for dinner.

If you spend the night at my house you will be given a fine homemade breakfast consisting of my secret recipe pancakes.

My favourite blond is Miss Ash. Or Priscilla Barnes. But I think I’ve got a better shot at actually meeting Miss Ash than Priscilla Barnes, whose probably kinda old and raggedy by now.

My favourite brunette is Maura Tierney.

The animal I would like to see flying is the chicken. I just think that would be really funny.

I shouldn’t eat so much fried food.

Last night I blogged about my shoes.

I’ve been told I look like Al Pacino. I don’t see the resemblence, but I take it as a great compliment.

If I could have any car it would be small and peppy. I don’t like driving large cars, but I don’t like the weak engines in small cars. A Honda Civic would be a good car for me. Right now, I’m driving a Suzuki SX4 and I like its size, but I’m turned off by its lack of acceleration.

Shoes: A Guy’s Perspective

Rawbean has asked other bloggers to photograph and upload their shoe collection for the whole world to see. I know at least one other blogger has partaken in this activity, Sarebeth.

As I’ve written before, I don’t understand why women love their shoes so much. Guys don’t look down there, we look at a woman’s chest, maybe her face, and probably her butt once or twice. Ladies, we guys don’t look at yer feet.

But far be it from me not to try to have a little fun and please the ladies. I’ve taken some quick shots of my shoes.

These are my “nicer” shoes. I probably should have polished them a bit, but it’s not like I’m wearing them tomorrow. After the photographs were taken, back into the closest they went. Notice they are pretty simple and black. Thems is man shoes.

These are my work shoes. They’re meant for working. Like man work. Notice the dried mud on the beaten down running shoes and the salt stains on the steel-toed boots.

These are my red Pumas. I like them. They’re red.

Brown Pumas. Not as red as the red ones. But they go nice with a pair of khakis.

These are my regular hanging out with my friends shoes. Plain Nike running shoes.

And here’s the whole lot. So there you have it, a normal guys shoe collection.

My List of Goals

I’ve been looking at my list of goals. I’ve haven’t gotten much done on there lately.

I’m thinking of bringing a bunch of DVDs to a used CD/DVD store. There’s a DejaVu across the street from work. Probably tomorrow at lunch. I don’t really care if I get decent coin for them either. I just really want to get rid of them. Make some shelf space. Yesterday, I sold a bunch of video games. I had a bunch of games I’m never gonna play. This way, I got rid of them and got a game I will play. Or at least, I hope I will play. Rainbow Six Vegas 2 only has to be as playable as the first for me to like it.

If you’ve been following this blog lately, Bob doesn’t seem to want a ladyfriend. That goal is just going to get increasingly harder as time goes by.

The weather was great this weekend. I really should have taken that toy helicopter for a spin. Maybe one night this week if the weather holds up.

Next weekend, there is a wedding I’m going to. Before I leave for the wedding, I’m going to have some quick photos taken of me. I’m still not content with the last photo I’ve got of me all decked out and done up to the nines.

That vacation is not going to happen this year. Too many things have come up. It’s been too busy at work and with my brother’s wedding later this year, my vacation fund is being turned into a get-a-really-nice-suit-to-wear-to-my-brother’s-wedding fund.

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There’s a new post in the Life with Carmine blog. There, you can read all about the best vagina I’ve ever eaten.

10 Reasons Why I Blog

Tagged by JLee.

1. I’m easily amused by myself.
2. It allows me to make a record of what I’m up to without any of that “Dear Diary” bullshit.
3. It allows me to testdrive lies about myself.
4. To be heard by anyone who googles “breasts, boobs and bazongas.”
5. Kill time on my break.
6. I actually feel like I’m connecting with people through the internet.
7. It allows me to display my opinions on all sorts of matters.
8. It provides a forum for me to critisize you.
9. It’s where I’m a viking.
10. I’m from New Jersey… No wait, that’s why Jon Bon Jovi blogs. Okay, for real, it’s fun.