Four Square

Got tagged by Spark of No More Casual Nonchalance.

Four jobs I’ve had

1. pin monkey
2. shipper/receiver
3. assistant manager of an indie record store
4. video store clerk

Four places I’ve lived

1. 67 Madawaska Ave. - I think that’s the number. I lived there until I was 6.
2. 118 Old Surrey Lane
3. On May Ave. Only lived there for 13 months. I think the number was 117, but I could be wrong.
4. The place I live now in Maple. I like it very much.

Four people I want to bitch-slap right into the middle of next week

1. Paul Watson.
2. That Coffee Crisp hypnotist.
3. David Suzuki.
4. Ingrid Newkirk

Four people who e-mail me regularly

1. Bob.
2. Spammers who want to make my dick bigger.
3. Spammers who want me to give them my credit card info.
4. Spammers who want to use my credit card info to make Bob’s dick bigger.

Four TV shows I watch

1. The Simpsons
2. How I Met Your Mother
3. Sportscentre
4. Futurama

Four places I’ve visited

1. Ottawa
2. New York
3. Washington DC
4. Boston

Four favourite foods

1. Pancakes.
2. Fried chicken, white meat only.
3. French toast.
4. Garlic mashed potatoes.

Four places I’d like to be right now

1. In bed.
2. In bed with a beautiful lady.
3. In bed with a lady who isn’t beautiful.
4. Dennys.

Four things I’m looking forward to this year

1. My brother’s wedding.
2. My birthday.
3. Getting that decoy of the two turkeys humping and hiding in my father’s backyard and seeing how long it takes him to notice it.
4. The next Futurama DVD.

Four people I’m tagging

1. You.
2. That person who reads your blog but doesn’t read mine.
3. Your significant other.
4. The person who never gets tagged for any memes.

Stolen Meme

I stole this meme type thing from Miss Ash.

My roommate and I once lived together. No wait, we didn’t. I’ve never had a roommate. Boy, started this thing off with a bang, didn’t I?

Never in my life have I had sexual relations with a man. Which is pretty understandable. I’m straight and always have been.

High school was eye-opening. I went from a Catholic grade school to a public high school. Deep down, the morals of the people I met were very different.

When I am nervous I can’t sleep.

My hair is still not grey. I think that’s a milestone. Everybody else in my family has gone grey. I think I take after my grandfather. I remember him still having not gone completely grey when I was a kid and he musta been well over sixty.

When I was 5 the Leafs were a joke and the Canadians were one of the best teams in the NHL. Wow, not much has changed.

By this time next year I will have taken a vacation. A much needed vacation.

I have a hard time understanding women.

You know I like you if I listen to you.

My ideal breakfast is fattening. Oh, you want more details. Sure, how about some pancakes or french toast, vanilla bean tea and a hash brown or some bacon. Oh, homefries. Nix the hash browns and gimme some homefries.

If you visit my hometown I will show you where that mafia guy got gunned down in a driveby. Then we’ll go out for dinner.

If you spend the night at my house you will be given a fine homemade breakfast consisting of my secret recipe pancakes.

My favourite blond is Miss Ash. Or Priscilla Barnes. But I think I’ve got a better shot at actually meeting Miss Ash than Priscilla Barnes, whose probably kinda old and raggedy by now.

My favourite brunette is Maura Tierney.

The animal I would like to see flying is the chicken. I just think that would be really funny.

I shouldn’t eat so much fried food.

Last night I blogged about my shoes.

I’ve been told I look like Al Pacino. I don’t see the resemblence, but I take it as a great compliment.

If I could have any car it would be small and peppy. I don’t like driving large cars, but I don’t like the weak engines in small cars. A Honda Civic would be a good car for me. Right now, I’m driving a Suzuki SX4 and I like its size, but I’m turned off by its lack of acceleration.

Shoes: A Guy’s Perspective

Rawbean has asked other bloggers to photograph and upload their shoe collection for the whole world to see. I know at least one other blogger has partaken in this activity, Sarebeth.

As I’ve written before, I don’t understand why women love their shoes so much. Guys don’t look down there, we look at a woman’s chest, maybe her face, and probably her butt once or twice. Ladies, we guys don’t look at yer feet.

But far be it from me not to try to have a little fun and please the ladies. I’ve taken some quick shots of my shoes.

These are my “nicer” shoes. I probably should have polished them a bit, but it’s not like I’m wearing them tomorrow. After the photographs were taken, back into the closest they went. Notice they are pretty simple and black. Thems is man shoes.

These are my work shoes. They’re meant for working. Like man work. Notice the dried mud on the beaten down running shoes and the salt stains on the steel-toed boots.

These are my red Pumas. I like them. They’re red.

Brown Pumas. Not as red as the red ones. But they go nice with a pair of khakis.

These are my regular hanging out with my friends shoes. Plain Nike running shoes.

And here’s the whole lot. So there you have it, a normal guys shoe collection.

My List of Goals

I’ve been looking at my list of goals. I’ve haven’t gotten much done on there lately.

I’m thinking of bringing a bunch of DVDs to a used CD/DVD store. There’s a DejaVu across the street from work. Probably tomorrow at lunch. I don’t really care if I get decent coin for them either. I just really want to get rid of them. Make some shelf space. Yesterday, I sold a bunch of video games. I had a bunch of games I’m never gonna play. This way, I got rid of them and got a game I will play. Or at least, I hope I will play. Rainbow Six Vegas 2 only has to be as playable as the first for me to like it.

If you’ve been following this blog lately, Bob doesn’t seem to want a ladyfriend. That goal is just going to get increasingly harder as time goes by.

The weather was great this weekend. I really should have taken that toy helicopter for a spin. Maybe one night this week if the weather holds up.

Next weekend, there is a wedding I’m going to. Before I leave for the wedding, I’m going to have some quick photos taken of me. I’m still not content with the last photo I’ve got of me all decked out and done up to the nines.

That vacation is not going to happen this year. Too many things have come up. It’s been too busy at work and with my brother’s wedding later this year, my vacation fund is being turned into a get-a-really-nice-suit-to-wear-to-my-brother’s-wedding fund.

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There’s a new post in the Life with Carmine blog. There, you can read all about the best vagina I’ve ever eaten.

10 Reasons Why I Blog

Tagged by JLee.

1. I’m easily amused by myself.
2. It allows me to make a record of what I’m up to without any of that “Dear Diary” bullshit.
3. It allows me to testdrive lies about myself.
4. To be heard by anyone who googles “breasts, boobs and bazongas.”
5. Kill time on my break.
6. I actually feel like I’m connecting with people through the internet.
7. It allows me to display my opinions on all sorts of matters.
8. It provides a forum for me to critisize you.
9. It’s where I’m a viking.
10. I’m from New Jersey… No wait, that’s why Jon Bon Jovi blogs. Okay, for real, it’s fun.

One Word Meme

Thanks to JLee for this one!

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.

1. Where is your mobile phone? jacket
2. Your significant other? nope
3. Your hair? uncombed
4. Your mother? mommy
5. Your father? smoke
6. Your favorite thing? music
7. Your dream last night? bop
8. Your favorite drink? bourbon
9. Your dream/goal? pussy
10. The room you’re in? office
11. Your ex? blonde
12. Your fear? leyton
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? older
14. Where were you last night? home
15. What you’re not? gay
16. Muffins? bland
17. One of your wish list items? 9
18. Where you grew up? ontario
19. The last thing you did? blogged
20. What are you wearing? clothes
21. Your TV? unpurchased
22. Your pets? outside
23. Your computer? slow
24. Your life? scary
25. Your mood? bored
26. Missing someone? nope
27. Your car? sold
28. Something you’re not wearing? condom
29. Favorite Store? closed
30. Your summer? cold
31. Like someone? nope
32. Your favorite color? red
33. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday
34. Last time you cried? youth
35. Who will/would re-post this? bop

Three Weird People

I’m bereft of good blogging ideas. In lieu of writing about my pathetic life, I’ve decided to write about the pathetic lives of others. The following is a list of weird people I’ve met through my many misadventures.

E. Money No, I don’t actually know Eddie Money, I’m just using pseudonyms. I used to work with this guy. Good guy to work with, he was the first person to yell at customers. It’s not like he just yelled at customers for no reason, he just doesn’t subscribe to “The customer is always right” rule. I don’t either, he just lacks my patience. That’s not why he’s weird. His lack of patience towards stupid customers at work is one of his most endearing qualities. He’s weird because of this quirk he had. Sometimes when he’d speak, he’d touch his left nipple with his left hand. I’m not talking a poke here, he’d fondle it a bit. This guy would have entire conversations with me and his hand would always be on his chest. That’s weird.

The “You Got Any Movies” Guy Years ago, I worked in a video rental store. One night, Juice can attest to this, he was there, some guy walks in, looks around, looks at me and asks “You got any movies?” Me being the responsible hard working chap that I am, responded “Sure, what kind of movies do you like?” I should have said something like “No,” but darn-it, I’m a good worker. Do I have any movies? It’s a movie store!

Richmond Hill’s Biggest Star Wars Nerd Remember when Phantom Menace was coming to theatres and people thought it wasn’t going to suck? Some people actually got in line at the theatre a couple of days before the release date. A couple buddies of mine from school were some of those people. They were numbers two and three in line. But the guy that was number one, what a weirdo. He was there a good day and half before the next person. And while waiting in line, he painted the movie theatres outdoor handrails, for free. I’m not sure how it started, but the theatre manager let him paint the rails. Not that he did a poor job or anything, but why would he? You gotta figure anybody nerdy enough to sleep outside a movie theatre would have a book (or series of books) to read. Maybe a portable television. Maybe a parent to deliver him fresh snacks or something. Nope, he had nothing better to do, so he painted handrails. Across the parking lot was a bookstore. He easily could have got a book. read it, took care of it for two days, then returned it after getting the movie tickets.