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Entries categorized as ‘Music’

Why is Murder Illegal?

July 16, 2008 · 16 Comments

No really, I want to know. Why is murder a crime? The fact is, some people deserve to die.

I guess I should explain myself a bit. Last night I was watching television. Nothing specific, just flipping. I came across something that was so awful, my body numbed and I could not operate the remote control, let alone get up and put my fist through my relatively new LCD television. What I saw was something of pure evil. I saw Canadian Idol and a contestant “singing” Rebel Rebel.

How is it, in a fair and just society, I cannot kill people who are broadcasting something that can kill me and many others?

Categories: Hell · Music · Television
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I Think I’m Alive

July 4, 2008 · 8 Comments

Well, it’s Friday morning and I’m feeling pretty zombieish. As long as I stay away from the book depository, I should be okay.

Last night I went to the one year anniversary of the Toronto Music Scene. I didn’t stay for the whole show, though. You know that old saying “If it’s too loud, you’re too old,” well, I’m old. No use in fighting it or denying it, I’m old.

I wasn’t always old. There was a time I was young. And people certainly remember me in my youth. In fact, people remind me of my youth. Just yesterday, during my lunch break I went to the salon. The head stylist there, I’ve known him my whole life, showed me a portrait Juice drew of me. (Back story: Juice, hair stylist Fab and me have known each other our whole lives and I was a very chubby baby.) Juice, for some odd reason, drew a picture of me, more of a caricature of me, of when I was a baby. It’s a pic of me (very Baby Huey-ish) in diapers just sitting on the ground being fat. Fab liked it so much, he had it framed.

So I was young at some point.

Last night, at the concert, as I eased my way up the stairs into the club, I heard the promoter guy talking to somebody. He was talking pretty loudly. I just shouted my way into the conversation without anybody being able to see me. He turned the corner and saw me. We haven’t seen each other in a long while. He was very pleased to see me as he made the point of introducing me to everybody using my full first and last name.

Later in the night, I saw this old friend from my high school days walk by then his ladyfriend came upto me to say “Hi.” I recognized the guy right away but the gal took me a minute or so to recall. Sure, I played along with the “Oh my God, I haven’t seen you in forever,” and all that jazz. Of course, I had to go upto the promoter guy and say “Was that so-and-so from high school?”

I got to play catch-up with a couple of old friends. Told “Did you hear about you-know-who” stories. Made the usual “We gotta get together more often” empty promises. All that stuff. Crap like that, you have to do it every once-in-a-while.

The bar/nightclub this event was held at, it’s one of Toronto’s newer spots. It’s called The Wreck Room. For a dingy little hole, the sound was pretty good. Most dingy little holes, you get nothing but feedback. But this place, you could actually hear the music. The layout isn’t great though. The bar is right in the middle of the room. If you’re sitting at the boothes, you have to look over the bar to see the stage. Otherwise, it’s one of Toronto’s better holes. The place does have a Ms. Pac-Man machine. Definitely cool. 50 cents a game though. Lemme throw up a big double-u tee eff on that. When the game was new, it only costed a quarter and that’s when Ms. Pac-Man was both the height of technology and the height of social commentary. Regardless, I was on a roll last night. I was smoking that machine. I don’t think I’ve ever been that dominant on a Pac-Man game before. I was grouping the ghosties together and getting them to chase me right into the big pellets so I could quickly turn ’round and gobble them up. I was scoring cherries, strawberries and some other non-descript fruits.

Oh well, I guess that’s it for this morning. The caffeine from my two cups of tea is starting to really kick in now. I think I just might make it through this day.

To all my American readers, happy 4th of July!

Categories: Gaming · Hell · History · Music
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I’m a Dinosaur!

June 23, 2008 · 9 Comments

Silly Rabbit, T-Rix is for kids!

Photo courtesy of Love is Gravity.

I was watching a panel discussion about the current state of the recorded music industry. The conclusion I arrived to was that the industry is either: about to die or it’s long dead and nobody bothered to tell them.

But I did realize that I’m a dinosaur living amongst the cavemen. (Sorry creationists, I need evolution to exist for this metaphor to make any sense.) I can’t search the internet for new music. It just doesn’t feel right. I need to walk into a record store and sift through bins of music to find my next favourite album. I cannot search Facebook or MySpace or YouTube to find music. I am emotionally incapable of performing that task, simple as it may be.

To me, the experience of looking for the music is as important as the music itself. The thrill of the hunt. The music stores unwillingness to sell music is taking this experience away from me.

In the past few days, I ventured into three different locations of the largest music retail chain in this country. What I found was three identical stores. I remember, it wasn’t too long ago, when I could hit three locations of this chain and find three vastly different stores. Music shopping today has become an experience like fishing at fish hatchery. I know there’s fish there but it’s always the same fish. Face it folks, if I didn’t buy that Joni Mitchell CD yesterday, I’m not going to buy it today or tomorrow. And what if I did buy it yesterday, I’m certainly not going to buy it again. At the least, the stores have to vary their stock. Give me something different to call crap.

Going to a record store used to be the highlight of my day. Today, it’s an exercise in emotional self-mutilation. It used to be my favourite place in the world. Now, it is my prison. Habit brings me back, but nothing can be accomplished within those four walls.

Anybody remember that scene at the end of Dazed and Confused where Mitch gets home, goes to his room and lies on his bed with those big ol’ headphones and just listens to music. That’s me (minus the out all night drinkin’, druggin’ and fuckin’)! Music is more than just some sweet sounds put together in a neat little package. Music is the experience. Everything about it is magical. Maybe someday people will include the mp3 as part of the experience. Maybe some people are already there. But not me. I don’t want to change.

This is how bad it’s gotten for me. I’ve been looking for Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music. I’ve never been a Lou Reed fan, he’s just not my cup of tea. But MMM is one of those albums everybody has to hear at least once*. And I can’t find it in stores.

Common sense would have me put aside my desire to stay in the 1970s, but this is rock and roll I’m talkin’ ’bout. Common sense, logic; they have no relation to rock and roll.

* You either agree with my statement that MMM is one of those albums everybody has to hear at least once or you don’t have a clue as to what that record is. Here’s Alan Cross’ take on the album, Ongoing History of New Music.

Categories: Music
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Seated at the Kiddie Table & The Greatest Wedding Invitation Ever

June 16, 2008 · 14 Comments

Yesterday, my family assembled at the house of my brother’s fiancee and her family. We were all celebrating Father’s Day together.

Father’s Day is a new thing in my family. Up until last year, the Canadian Grand Prix was always held on Father’s Day, so my father was always in Montreal to watch the race. Celebrating it was a pointless activity.

The weather, although not perfect yesterday, was nice enough to let us enjoy ourselves when we needed to. It rained very hard for some of the trip to Sauggytown but stopped when we arrived. We had wonderful weather while outside with the barbecue and for a while afterwards so we could digest in the fresh air. But for the ride home, it rained quite a bit again.

There was a total of four families at this party. I was, for the first time in a long time, seated at the kiddie table. This was the biggest kiddie table, ever. I think the youngest person at the table was 25 years old. The gentleman sitting on my left, my brother’s soon-to-be brother-in-law was there with his wife. Has anybody ever seen a married couple sitting at the kiddie table before?

My brother’s soon-to-be brother-in-laws sort of welcomed me into their family. These two were talking about lay ahead for dessert. One brother said “There’s some cupcakes made by WIGSF’s mom. They look good.”

I barely lift my head from my meal and say “They’re like crack.”

The two brothers look at me and one pipes up “All this time we’ve been trying to corrupt your brother and we get nowhere. Then you walk in here and bam! You’re one of the family.”

The older of the two then said “WIGSF, you said that a little too well. Welcome to the family.”


I received a wedding invitation this weekend. I also received complaints from some other people who had been invited. I don’t get what all the hubbub is about. It’s a wonderful invitation. It has all the things a great wedding invitation needs:

  • Two quotes from David Bowie’s “Modern Love”
  • The phrase “I hate N********k too!”
  • A word search puzzle
  • Three connect-the-dots puzzles
  • A reference to Richard Gere having a rodent up his butt
  • And a place where the invited are asked to draw themselves at the wedding

It’s not just an invitation, it’s an eight page activity book. This invite easily trumps any invite I’ve ever seen. I still can’t believe some people are so old-fashioned that they aren’t willing to “Colour in a damn comic book!” One guy I know who was invited to this wedding actually said that.

Categories: Holidays · List · Music
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WIGSF vs Entertainment

June 11, 2008 · 15 Comments

For a month or so, I’ve been hearing this song on the radio. Well, not so much a song, more like something that used to be a song.

Everytime it would come on, I would sit through the awful set of sounds just to find out who is taking credit for this abomination. But everytime, the radio station would go right into a commercial after the song.

A part of me thought this song was Uncle Kracker. I mean, who else would attempt such a horrible thing.

This morning, the song came on the radio yet again and I sat through it, yet again. But this time, the radio host announced who the song was performed by after it ended.

And that was the new song by Kid Rock who is coming to town…

That’s when I clicked the button and changed the channel. Kid Rock, I should have known. Who else would loop a beat from an old song and just give it new, awful lyrics?

Now, I understand some people out there in Internetland like Kid Rock. Some people think he’s talented or something. But we as a society must demand more from our musicians. We cannot sit idly by and let musicians mass produce junk and pass it off as music. For cryin’ out loud, if I want to hear Sweet Home Alabama, I’ll put on my Lynard Skynyrd CDs.

We as a society need to force the music industry to do something better than rehash what’s already been done. We have to skip anything that’s a song about listening to a better song. What’s next, a song about airdrumming to In the Air Tonight?

Alas, this horrid recycling of art has infested more than just music. It has been both the life blood and the bane of Hollywood for some time now.

I remember a time when people would discuss how sequels could never live up to the quality of their predecessors. Well, that time has obviously passed. I’m not sure where I was when that happened, but it happened. So every weekend, movie-goers have to decide between seeing Fantastic Spider-man 4: Legend of the Iron Knight and Didn’t That Used to be a TV Show.

Speaking of TV shows, has anybody actually noticed that there is now a show called Celebrity Rehab. From my understanding, this is a show that documents the goings-on in a rehab clinic populated by people I’ve seen in previous reality shows. This show is hosted by Dr. Drew. You may remember him from that phone-in sex help show where he was the guy who actually tried to provide meaningful help, Adam Corolla just made fun of people and some tall, leggy blonde chick with a big rack was there to, well, be the token tall, leggy blonde chick with a big rack.

Frankly, if it wasn’t for that show on NBC that just plays clips of dogs pooping and various other TV bloopers, I don’t think I’d watch TV in the evening at all anymore. I got my news in the morning, my Simpsons reruns during dinner and then poof. The TV goes off, the advertisers stop trying to sell me junk I don’t need and I hide in my basement with my good music and DVDs of slightly original movies.

Categories: Music · Television
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Music Meme

June 3, 2008 · 11 Comments

I found this meme on Confessions of a Random Chick so I snatched it up.

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now.

This might seem weird to some people but I’m an album guy. I get into whole albums, not just single tracks. Every song I’m feeling right now is from the same album. For the past few days, I’ve been listening and re-listening to Todd Rundgren’s Something/Anything?

  1. Dust in the Wind
  2. Wolfman Jack
  3. Some Folks is Even Whiter Than Me
  4. Slut
  5. I Saw the Light
  6. It Wouldn’t Have Made Any Difference
  7. Piss Aaron

I’m supposed to tag seven people. Okay, here we go: JLee, Wiwille, Miss Ash, Bob, Claire, Spark and Sarebeth.

Categories: Music
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Weekend Recap: Slowing Down

June 2, 2008 · 12 Comments

Friday

I didn’t have any plans for the evening, nor did I plan on making plans. I wanted a relaxing evening at home. My mother, she asked if I would drive her to some company function. Her firm was going bowling. Now, my mother, she doesn’t like driving, especially at night, so I agreed.

Getting to the bowling alley, there wasn’t much traffic. We were heading into the city and most of the traffic was going the other way. So, we got there with plenty of time to spare. To kill time, we went to nearby Yorkdale mall, walked around a bit.

On my way home, I decided to not cook dinner, but get some take-out. I went to Popeyes and got some yummy fried chicken with those delicious biscuits they’ve got there.

At the exact moment I left Popeyes, my cellphone rang. It was Juice, he was staying in that night and wanted to see if I wanted to hangout. “I’ll be there in ten minutes,” I replied. For you see, Juice lives pretty close to Popeyes and the sooner I sit down to eat, the warmer and fresher my meal will be. Instead of going home to eat the take-out, I went to Juice’s place.

After dinner, Juice was showing me this program he installed on his Mac. This program allowed him to use OS X’s built-in audio effects on iTunes. For years, he has been trying to simulate the compression tools used by radio stations when they broadcast music. This program and the audio effects in his operating system now allowed him to do that.

Juice demonstrated this program, as it is of interest to me as well. “‘kay, which song do you think would really highlight the compression effect?” Juice asked me. My first and only response was of course “More than a Feeling.”

Juice fiddled with his mouse a bit, typed a couple of keys on the keyboard. “I don’t appear to have that song in my library.” Juice stated.

After much silence from me and head motions that can only convey dissappointment, Juice found a song that highlighted the effect well.

Before going home, I ventured back into the city and picked up my mother from the company function. With her, she had a trophy. She had apparently won the women’s high score. About time! This is a woman who bowls year round. If she can’t kick some serious butt at a company bowling function where she’s the only person with her own bowling shoes and ball, she really should find a new hobby. She bowled better that night than she had the night before in her league.

Saturday

Saturday, I had to go into work in the morning. It has been really busy lately and I don’t see any signs of slowing down. And people say we’re in a recession.

For the past week or so, my boss has been driving the van mostly and I’ve been driving his SUV. But on this day, we switched back to the normal routine, me in the van, him in the SUV. I went to pick up the van only to find the front windows open a little bit and the doors unlocked. Great, the van left outside all night with open windows and unlocked doors. That’s wonderful when there has been a thunderstorm. Luckily, none of the thousands of dollars of equipment stored in the van was soggy or stolen.

People often ask me why I continue to work for this man. Let me tell you, everyday with this guy is an adventure.

After work, I ventured out into the world of hawking crap I don’t use anymore. I finally brought that big box of DVDs I’ve assembled to a place that will take them off my hands. In the end, I unloaded something like 160 discs. I got nowhere near what I had paid for these things, not even close, but I didn’t expect to get much at all. When all is said and done, I’ve got a lot of shelf space cleared, a couple bucks in my pocket and a collection of DVDs that no longer looks like an obsession.

In the evening, I went out with Bob and the Wonder Twins. We started at this one bar in Scaberia. My goal was to get drunk but right before we entered this place, we spotted a family sitting down eating a late supper. A family, including children. I can’t get drunk around kids. I voiced my opinion and we left in search of a pub. We found one and I started drinking.

Beer is not my friend.

Later, we went to a pool hall.

I haven’t gotten that drunk in a long, long time. Any details I write down will probably be inaccurate.

The ride home was a bit of a blur. I probably slept for most of the ride.

Sunday

Other than doing a bit of food shopping, I stayed in, relaxed. Juice came by for a bit. We played some Mario Kart.

I should have gone for a walk or did some exercises or something, but I didn’t.

Categories: Carmine · Music
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