Blogging on a Saturday Night

I worked more than half a day today. Then afterwards I went out with Bob and the Wonder Twins. After a filling dinner of steak and mashed potatoes at Montanas Cookhouse, I decided to call it a night. I returned home to find a house that smells like a house that a dog lives in. I’ve got no dogs. Why does my house smell like dog? Whatever, I’m staying in on Saturday night and blogging.

Just for the record, I’m not a Bon Jovi fan. They got their moments and they don’t completely suck. But I wouldn’t call myself a fan. I certainly wouldn’t attend one of their concerts. And I’ve been offered a ticket to their last show in Toronto. I chose not to go. I know it would just be me yelling at the band “Hey, are you guys from Jersey?”

In the past couple of days, I’ve noticed that my site has received a lot of hits from people searching for “awesomeball.” A while back I had this idea of inventing a game called Awesomeball. In fact, that post I wrote is the third result on Google. What I’d like to know is why, all of a sudden, are people googling awesomeball? Last Wednesday, that post had 117 hits. What happened last week that turned awesomeball into something of interest for a small group of people?

Earlier today, as I sat outside talking to Wonder Twin Zan, I actually looked up at the heavens and shouted “Shouldn’t it be snowing!” It was like 20 degrees outside today. It’s gotten too hot too fast this year. In fact, the winter wasn’t very cold. I am dreading this upcoming summer. I don’t like hot weather. I’m a winter person. Jack Frost, why have you foresaken me?

Sports & Television

How long has it been since I’ve written about sports?

I like sports. Sports is a very guy thing. Big muscular men sweating and grinding on each other. Very guy thing.

Both the National Hockey League and National Basketball Association are about to enter the playoffs. Good. Get these seasons done with so a champion can be crowned, whether that champion be legitimate or the result of game fixing.

If you’re a betting person, put your money on the Boston Celtics and the San Jose Sharks. Those teams are going to win their respective leagues. Here’s why?

The Boston Celtics have not just feasted on their weak Eastern Conference, but have also been able to compete and win against the mighty Western Conference. There is only three teams in their conference that could pose a threat to them. Detroit is always a threat because they are a good team, but their time has passed. Washington isn’t very good, but for some reason, has been able to beat Boston twice this season. I don’t think anybody really knows how. And Cleveland. It’s always hard to bet against the face of the league because the league wants its face to win and win often. But barring any sort of fix or freak injuries, Boston can only lose to two teams: Detroit or Washington. But I still think in a seven game series, Boston has the advantage with their stingy defense.

As for the West, there are at least 9 teams there that could win the conference. It’s a shame that only 8 of them will be granted access to the playoffs. It’s too close to call who will come out of that conference, but it is rather irrelevant. Boston will beat any team in the finals this year.

As for hockey, it’s San Jose’s turn to win the title. Are they the best team? Can another team beat them? It matters not. It’s their turn. They will win. The fix is in.

If a team does beat them, watch in the off-season as that winning team is destroyed in a manner such as the Oilers were destroyed two years ago. Playing through the fix only hurts the team in the long run.

And the baseball season is beginning now. Lots of teams look good this year. The Mets and Tigers look really good. The Red Sox are the defending champions. But in baseball, one or two pitching injuries can cripple a team. My fave, the Braves, they’re not going anywhere this year. That’s a shame.

And April is coming soon. What does that mean? That means the Maple Leafs are booking tee times.

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Last night I saw this television show called Miss Guided. I have never heard of this show before. It’s one of those no-audience sitcoms with a whole heap of cutaway jokes. (Too many television programs are using cutaways these days.) The premise seems to be the adventures of a high school guidance counselor who just might be crazy.

Was this show any good? Meh. Was this show worth watching? Meh. Was this show better than everything else on TV last night? Probably. Will this program succeed? Nope, it’s a show that requires writing and acting by professional writers and actors. And frankly, those people cost money. Television networks would much rather just spoon-feed us more Dancing with Survivors and Washed-up Pseudo Celebrity Bikini Hot Tub Party.

Remember when the worst thing on TV on a Thursday night was Will & Grace? Where have you gone James Burrows? Our Neilson turns its lonely eyes to you.

Insomnia Blogging: Whatever Happened to Kristy Swanson

I woke up this morning full of energy. Too bad it was 2:09AM. Seriously, what the eff! So I walked over to the television and couch and started flipping. TSN was replaying yesterday’s Briar draws. Meh. CNN was playing commercials for ProActiv Solution, meh. The Fox affliate was playing a boring episode of Frasier. A Channel was playing… Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Oh my God Becky, take a look at that vampire’s butt.

So I sat there watching Kristy Swanson and Donald Sutherland beat up some Malibu vampires in between class and cheerleader practice.

Kristy Swanson was in one movie I really liked. It was a pretty shitty movie called The Chase. The movie had a pretty simple premise, Charlie Sheen carjacks Kristy Swanson’s car and takes her as a hostage as he runs from the cops after breaking out of prison. I guess the part of the movie that was most unbelievable and stupid was the part where the two of them screw, in the car, while leading the police chase.

After a couple scenes of Buffy, I switched back to Frasier.

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Here are the official results for the contest. First place is Amazing Karnak, second place is Random Chick and third place is Wiwille. They are the best guessers around. I guess…

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And I’ve decided to give one of those fake blogger awards. I call this award the WhatIGotSoFar Would Do Me Award (Or the “Wouldee” for short). This award is given to the hottest post of the past seven days.

This week’s winner is Maxie for her post Would You Rather, Week 12 in which she asks readers if they would rather imitate Linda Blair from The Exorcist during sex or speak only in Starbucks order during sex. Congrats Maxie, for writing this week’s hottest post.

Weekend Recap: The Dirty Oreo from San Anton’

Friday

Fried chicken and taters from Mary Browns takeout for dinner. I stayed in. Watched some television. Played some video games. According to that Wii Sports game, I’ve got the balance, speed and stamina of a 26 year old. Neato.

Saturday

Something I’ve been meaning to do for some time, pick up the back catalogue of Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds. On Saturday, I did the lazy thing, I bought them from the iTunes store.

At night, me and Bob went to Baller’s house to watch the NBA All Star skills competition. Without going into a huge rant about how the dunk itself is now the least important part of the slam dunk competition, I will say this. It was fun to watch. Watching Tim Duncan and David Robinson hit shots they would never attempt in an actual game was great though. I’ve always had a lot of respect for both of those players.

Duncan and Robinson competed in this competition with a player from the WNBA team in San Antonio. The threesome was interviewed after they easily won the competition. Maybe I was too far from the television to make out their faces and my imagination started crawling deeper into the ditch; but that woman, I don’t her name, had this look on her face like she was really excited to be in between two seven foot tall black man.

The night ended up with a big ol’ poker game with a tiny pot. At some point I was the chip leader, not sure how, but I was. Of course, by that point, the fun of the game was a bit lost on me and I just wanted to go home. For me, when that feeling comes during a poker game, I go in on every hand and make my intentions well known. The player with the second most chips did the same. Eventually, he had a better hand than me and I was out pretty quick.

Sunday

Had to work.

George Isn’t Kidd-ing

All Star point guard Jason Kidd has made it clear to his team, the New Jersey Nets, that he wants out. He had a great run with the Nets, taking them to the NBA Finals. The New Jersey Nets tried to oblige their star player and grant him a trade to a contending team.

Yesterday, news broke that Jason Kidd had been traded to the powerhouse Dallas Mavericks in an eight player deal. But something happened, something went wrong. One of the five players who were to be traded eastward had the ability to veto the deal, and he did. Devean George is currently under contract with the Dallas Mavericks and that contract contains a variation of a no-trade clause.

Devean George, earlier in his career won three consecutive NBA Championships with the Los Angeles Lakers. The same Los Angeles Lakers that got the trade season started by making a lopsided deal for Pau Gasol. A deal that San Antonio Spurs head coach Gregg Popovich derided for its lopsidedness.

The Lakers, having made that deal, solidified their position as a contending team, thus forcing other Western Conference teams to make moves in order to keep up with the Joneses. The Phoenix Suns traded one their best players for an aging and overpaid Shaquille O’neal. This Kidd deal would have been Dallas’ effort to keep up. But the former Laker put a hold on the deal.

It is still possible for George to remove his grievance and okay the trade. For some players, the trade is very good thing: Kidd and a couple of his Nets teammates get to go to a contender and the jetisoned Mavericks get to go play on a team that can give them significant playing time. But Devean George looks like the player with the most to lose from this deal. Having been a key role player with the Lakers for three championship runs, winning another title with Dallas would solidify him as a player who wins where ever he goes and not just a journeyman. He wants to be the new Robert Horry (seven NBA Championships with a total of three teams).

If the trade does go through, with or without George, Dallas ponies up to match the Lakers and Suns, leaving San Antonio, Utah, Denver, Houston and New Orleans picking through the scraps of the Eastern Conference to boulster their teams for a playoff run.

Insomnia Blogging VI

It has been amazing. I’ve had a decent amount of sleep in the past couple of weeks. But for the past two nights, no sleep.

One of my usual early morning pasttimes, watching CNN hasn’t been doing it for me. All CNN is covering lately has been the primaries. Sure, picking the President is important and people can’t wait to see President Bush take a hike, but it seems like this campaign started a year ago. These campaigns need to take some time off, give use news junkies a break, something else to get all worked up about. I haven’t seen one mention of CNN’s extreme weather. Or how about the fact that Polaroid is downsizing to 150 employees. This is a company that used to employ 21,000. If you ask me, that’s a news story, the downfall of Polaroid.

I ended up watching the west coast feed of Sportsnet Connected. Still, more talk on the Richard Zednik incident. (For those who don’t know, Richard Zednik is a hockey player who took a skate blade to the neck and lost nearly two litres of blood or half a gallon on the ice.) This is the second time in recent memory of something like this happening in the National Hockey League. I’ve seen both incidents and I’m still amazed that neither player collapsed or freaked out. They both immediately covered up and let the paramedics do their job. It was the quick response by the injured players that saved them from dying right there on the ice. I don’t know what I’d do if I was all-of-a-sudden gushing blood from my neck.

Wha’ Happen’

A couple of nights ago, the Toronto Raptors ventured into Florida to play the Miami Heat in a regular season basketball game. I happened to catch the third quarter of the game on television. I think I was the only person who saw that game. The seats at the arena were empty. It hasn’t even been two whole years since the Heat won the NBA Championship and now the team is playing in front of empty seats. Sure, they blow like a cheap hooker and were getting their asses handed to them that night; but three rows in, nobody!

In the many, many, many years the Raptors were that lowly team rotting away in the great white north, the far too expensive seats in Toronto weren’t that empty.

Now I hear that lowly Miami Heat is about to trade the most expensive statue in the game today. Good for them. He’s costing them a lot of money and not really providing any sort of athleticism.

As for the team picking him up, not a good fit. I really don’t think Shaq will fit in Phoenix. Sure, its a last ditch effort to win the title before: their point guard gets too old, their centre blows out his knees (again) and people realize the guy that built that team doesn’t work there anymore. But the Suns play an up-tempo game that requires a bit of mobility. Sure, Steve Nash can get him the ball, but for that to happen, Shaq has to be somewhere near the rim. He moves too slowly to get there by the time the rest of his team is already driving hard to the bucket. Maybe he’ll just cherry pick, but then Phoenix’s we’ll-outscore-you-so-we-don’t-have-to-play-d style will only get weaker.

Okay, Bob, ya happy now? I just gave you 250 words on basketball for you to disripute. Can I blog about something else now?

The perennially crappy Florida Panthers of the National Hockey League got their revenge for their NBA neighbours. The night after the Raptors ripped up the Heat, the Panthers marched into Toronto and bitchslapped the Maple Leafs.

Every team, every athlete is allowed to give a stinker now and then, but the Maple Leafs have been doing it a little too often these days. And against the Florida Panthers. And at home.

Watching this 8 nothing romp last night, I never once felt like the Panthers were running up the score; the Leafs were just that awful. When they realized they simply couldn’t compete, they just started picking fights and making cheapshots. Ya here that Tucker. You’re a friggin’ cheapshot artist, that’s why no team wanted you and that’s why you’re stuck in Toronto.

Why Mats Sundin doesn’t want to leave this team is baffling. If I was him, I’d have asked for a trade to Florida in the middle of that game.